i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize