She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
