Sober January is a disaster.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
