I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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