One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
