That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
