I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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