how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
