so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
We need a shit load of segways right now
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
