i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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