Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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