so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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