Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
