It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
