I think scott just propositioned me for sex
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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