Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
