Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
