I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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