I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
