With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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