He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
