he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
