He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
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Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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