there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
