he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!