It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
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If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
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I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.