I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.