So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes