My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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