My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
