drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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