pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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