I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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