Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize
