How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
