Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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