She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
