Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
