I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
porn star boner night. come get it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
