the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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