what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
