TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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