So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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