we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
