Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
