drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
