I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
