I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
