My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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