Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
