First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
