I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He better not be in your backpack
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
