she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
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ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
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