I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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