Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
