That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
