I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
