she looked like the before picture.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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