u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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