I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize