I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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