no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
