Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
